Today, my wife pointed something out - and it hit me harder than I expected.

I asked someone to take the dogs out. They kind of brushed it off, and I immediately got irritated. In my head, it was a clear instruction. I shouldn’t have to explain it. Just do what I ask.

Later, my wife gently said, “They already took the dogs out. You didn’t know that.” Then she added, “You also didn’t say you were about to clean the crates.”

She wasn’t being critical - just honest. And she was right.

I had a whole plan in my head. I was going to clean the crates and didn’t want the dogs inside while I did it. But I never said that out loud. I just gave the command and expected it to be followed.

That’s how I tend to operate - say less, expect results. I don’t like over-explaining. I don’t want to walk people through things I already see clearly. It feels tedious. Like I’m wasting energy putting words around something that should be self-evident.

But here’s the thing: it’s only self-evident to me.

That’s what today showed me.

I don’t expect people to be mind readers, but I do expect initiative. I expect people to trust that if I ask for something, there’s a reason behind it. But when they don’t act - or act differently - I feel let down. Like I wasn’t taken seriously.

💭 And yet... how fair is that?

The truth is, I hold back a lot of what I’m thinking. I operate in shorthand - for myself. But when I expect others to work off that same shorthand without ever being given the code, am I setting them up to fail?

What I’m bumping into isn’t just about chores or communication. It’s about control, trust, and maybe even pride. It feels like a burden to explain because part of me feels I shouldn’t have to. That if people respected me, they’d just act. But what if that assumption is what’s getting in my way?

🌀 My counselor told me I might be a narcissist.
Not “have narcissistic traits.” Not “show some patterns.”
She said it directly. You’re a narcissist.

That’s hard to hear. No one wants that label. But I’ve been thinking about it ever since - especially today.

Wanting people to just do what I say without explanation? Getting angry when they don’t automatically follow my lead? Withholding context, then resenting the confusion? Yeah... I see the pattern.

Maybe I am a narcissist. I don’t know yet. We’ll see.

What I do know is that I’m not brushing it off. I’m paying attention. I’m asking hard questions. And I’m trying - not always perfectly - to be more honest with myself, and with others.

I still don’t like spelling everything out. That hasn’t changed. But maybe, just maybe, a few more words could mean fewer misunderstandings, fewer fights, and less feeling like no one listens.

Today reminded me: clear doesn’t always mean complete. And being “right” in my head doesn’t always mean I’m being fair out loud.